Bichkand's Diary

  "she said I was making the things illusive for me & not trying to move on. Does she know what grief is? Or maybe, maybe she is right. I need to ignore my emotions. I need to keep myself busy. Maybe. Ah! What should i do? O God! Can she understand what I am going through? Or Anyone? No, they hurt me more. They really do." She was holding her blanket tightly, her tears making their way through her cheeks, & her mind replaying all the scenes that were enough to hurt her. Her mental peace was ruined even more. Her only option to feel better threw her in the cave of anxious thoughts. She couldn't get rid of the discussion with her friend. She tried to pour her heart out and got even more thoughts to think about. Sometimes you feel like you will fade away, when pain within you weighs so heavy, you find it hard to breathe. Your heart skips the beats or starts beating so fast. With that abnormal heartbeat. I mean with panic attacks. With all those anxious thoughts &...

  It was midnight. She switched off the lights of her room and sat on the bed. It was quite dark. She opened a list on her mobile phone. Her eyes were fixed on the mobile screen as if she was searching for herself. Her mind had numerous thoughts. The collision of thoughts made it chaotically chaotic, making her feel lost in her own horizon. Her tears rolled from her eyes and among the spinning thoughts, a thought popped up. "I couldn't make it happen. I could have done better but..." A single statement with two poles, the pole of disappointment & pole of EXECUTION FIRE. It depends upon a person what he/she chooses. Execution fire is the indispensable asset for success & Disappointment is the curse eventually. I mean there is positivity & negativity. I don't say you don't feel hurt. Everyone does. We all feel hurt when we fall. We grieve for all that we have done along the way to achieve something. The hard work, the hope, the excitement, and all that g...

In this materialistic era, where everyone is so attached to electronic devices, we are cognizant that if a system has so many junk files, and unnecessary background tasks running, can't perform well... We can't find the actual processing power that it is intended to offer... So, each of us takes care of such things... Good performance is ever preferred...  When it comes to mind, pre-installed software, we really don't care for such things... There are so many untold stories (junk files), ever haunting... They become traumatic episodes (unnecessary background tasks).. automatically replayed... & Mind can't process properly... We suffer from insomnia, migraine, &  a lot more physical diseases... Well actually, depression, anxieties... We spend so much of our time & money on physical health, why do we forget to take care of our mental health? It is as important as physical health. Maybe even more. Good mental health can save you from so many physical diseases. ...

Tiny moments are worth living A moment of argument for no reason but to talk just... A moment of speaking your heart out to feel loved  A moment of celebrating little achievements A moment of being tagged in a post or being in somebody's story... A moment of being teased and crazy laughter Even a moment of peaceful silence.... Living and cherishing each moment Fills your story with the captured moments of joy Life never stays on a single pole...  There are ups and downs But it's you who has to choose Whether to live  or wait for a perfect moment  

  Once there were two wanderers, walking together along an unending road. They never talked to each other. They never look at each other. Each one kept walking and stopped when necessary without bothering the other one until one day when one of them stopped and started screaming. His screams were so loud and nonstop for time being. The other one kept walking, tried to ignore unpleasant sound of pain. He walked miles away but still could hear his screams. He stopped, looked back and found no one. He knew he walked away from his unknown companion but pain followed him. He closed his eyes and kept his hands on his ears to not listen to that heart wrenching sound and felt like that sound was being played somewhere in his mind. He quickly opened his eyes and walked back to witness the pain itself. When he reached the point and saw the face of his unknown companion his existence got paralyzed. He couldn't believe on his eyes.  "Why did you return? Go away. Keep yesterday's dead ...

It's okay if you are not the person who you were or you thought you would be. And it's not your responsibility to entertain people by faking your existing being with the mask of yesterday. You don't resonate with yesterday's SELF anymore. And you don't need to step back just to keep some connections alive. Because people who can't embrace your all versions aren't worth your efforts. & The ones who love you will ask you to move forward with your newest version... More stronger and capable to deal with hardships, anxiety, or anything unusual comes on your way..